There’s always one…and they’re usually sitting right next to me…

I seem to attract them, where ever I go. In the supermarket, on the plane (worst place ever!) or even just minding my own business walking the dog…

Last night it was the turn of the ‘opinionated, stuck in a time-warp, bearded, round-bellied, narrow-minded, less that easy on the eye’ grey man, who was on the same course as me. Goodness knows why he was there as he clearly knew everything already.

He didn’t get off to a good start as he demonstrated traits of the not uncommon condition:  ‘my favourite subject is myself’. We were asked as an ice- breaker to form pairs and come up with our favourite five from the following 3 categories: food, music or films and discuss why they were our favourites.

I now know all about Peter Gabriel’s back catalogue. The alarm bells did start ringing at this point, one, because coming up with your five favourite songs in 30 seconds seems like not a whole lot of thought has gone into it and secondly WE ARE IN 2017!! Do people not listen to new music? ‘Time-Warp Listeners’; it’s another condition which many people are afflicted by. Open your ears people, there’s some brilliant new music out there, most of it written by young people who can express themselves pretty damn well! Rant over…for the time being…

We then moved onto a ‘physical movement activity’ where we were to move around each station, in pairs (his poor partner!) and try to assist one another in improving at the task. Well, my partner and I only did one station because aforementioned Grey Man spent the entire time HOGGING THE BEAN BAGS!! I’m not usually that fussed about tossing a bean bag into a hoop, but last night I was robbed, yes, ROBBED of the opportunity (although there was one place I would have liked to have stuffed the sodding bean bags…or possibly two), instead I had to satisfy myself  with flipping beer mats (something, which judging by his protruding belly, he was probably a dab hand at). My very obvious (to everyone except him) impatient waiting (arms folded, toes tapping) was clearly too subtle as he carried on tossing his sacks…

I was now at the point where I could no longer look at him, for fear of my Tourettes kicking in and just shouting out ‘wanker’ . Yes, he irritated me that much and no, I am not an intolerant person. However, I have an exception to this rule: twats. And this man was about to prove beyond reasonable doubt he most definitely was one…

Some back ground: The Course Title: Behaviour Change Tactics: helping People Get Active, Stay Active

Point to the course: To look at ways that we, as Coaches, Leaders, Teachers can engage with people, motivate, inspire and to keep those people engaged, ensuring they have a positive experience from being involved with exercise by using positive reinforcement and encouragement.

Why was he a TWAT,? Well, over to you Mr ‘Doing My Effin Head in Now!’

“I fundamentally disagree with what you’re saying here tonight; we should not be encouraging those people who do not succeed. I take sessions where no one succeeds, what should I do? Lie to people! People turn up to my sessions because they want to train and I make they work so hard each week that I almost break them. They come back, Why should I be saying anything positive to them?”

This was the point that a HUGE bundle of tumbleweed made it’s way up three flights of stairs, past the security guard and into the room…and when I discovered I had in fact packed my soap box and it was in my ruck sack after all…

I think I was coherent in my argument, but I fear what I actually said was, ‘YOU FUCKING TWAT, GET BACK TO THE 1970’s, WITH YOUR PROG ROCK, DODGY CLOTHING AND NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT SHIT AND WHILE WE’RE AT IT, THIS ISN’T ACTUALLY ALL ABOUT YOU, YOU MORON….ARGHHHHHHH….AND SORT YOUR BEARD OUT MATE AS YOU LOOK LIKE MR BLOODY TWIT’

Unfortunately, because he is a twat, all he probably heard was ‘bla bla bla bla bla’….from some ‘hormonal, having a bad day little woman in the corner’….

#sigh

mr twit

 

6 thoughts on “There’s always one…and they’re usually sitting right next to me…

  1. I’m glad to see you have calmed down since I saw you earlier. I would also like to remind you that I was sitting next to you on the plane during your last two flights.

    Like

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