Some ‘cunning’ tips for surviving the Christmas period while keeping your training on everyone’s radar!
Involve the family by creating a little circuit, this not only gives you the moral high ground for being a ‘hands-on’ parent at a particularly stressful time but also means you get to spend ‘quality time’ with them, win, win! However, pesky kids tend to pick the exercises up in half the time and be twice as good as you, so keep one step ahead, throw in a Nordic or two! If you don’t have kids around, involve a pet or a spouse instead…and video it, please!
Ensure you ask for loads of training kit; you can then legitimately test it out and escape the house. A bike is a good choice; you can be gone for hours on one of those! If it’s an archery set, ensure the kids, animals and maybe even the spouse have finished doing the circuit session before you begin….(or not, it’s your call!)
Head off to a Christmas Day parkrun leaving the rest of the family to prep the veg, baste the turkey/tofu and chill the Champagne/Cava/Prosecco/Lambrini! Upon your return, quaff a glass of bubbly and head for the shower, return downstairs, a vision in Lycra as the smoked salmon canapés/tofu balls are being served! Smile sweetly and regale your family of your parkrun fun, honestly, they’ll be hanging on your every word…
Once the present opening fest has finished, it’s then time to spend ‘way too much time’ than is actually necessary taking selfies of yourself in/on/under/using your new kit (ask a young person for guidance on selfies!) then post aforementioned photos on social media (ensuring you spend copious amounts of time checking how many likes you’ve had and responding immediately to any comments made!) You’ll be be an inspiration (or is it irritation??) to many!
If there’s any sign that the family’s interest in your festive frolics are waning, then now is the time to play Charades with a difference! Don the appropriate kit and see how long it takes to guess any of the following (you do these entirely at your own risk, just saying!)
- Chariots of Fire (dig out your Vangelis vinyl, find a beach and run in short-shorts in slow motion for a very long time)
- Cool Runnings (see how fast you can all get into the bath while wearing skin-tight lycra)
- Escape to Victory (find yourself some retired football legends (and Sylvester Stallone), have a kick about in the garden while surreptitiously leaving one by one)
- Bend it Like Beckham (don a crop-top, do keepie-uppies while looking sexy)
- Eddie the Eagle (just stand on the top of something very steep and let yourself go)
Please ensure you video any of the above for posterity, public humiliation, You’ve Been Framed fortune or insurance claims!
And finally, don’t forget that a key part of any training schedule is to recover properly while consuming protein, so take yourself off to a quiet room with some delicious nuts and a bottle of Advocaat to plan all your fitness-related goals for 2019. I believe that overseas ones in warm climates are de rigueur for 2019, and it’s polite to invite a friend, allegedly…